Shelter for the Spirit

 A good friend of mine gave me a book several years ago, when my husband and I were looking for a house. The book is called, Shelter for the Spirit, How to Make Your Home a Haven in a Hectic World, by Victoria Moran. For whatever reason (if I recall I was reading “The Glass Castle” and couldn’t rip myself away, and/or I wasn’t yet a homemaker in the truest sense, therefore the book did not resonate), I put the book on the shelf. It is safe to say that I am now a homemaker with a capital H. Now, I make home, pancakes, beds, slow cooker meals, snowmen, forts, and just about everything else domestic. So, in the way God works his magic, the book appeared from beneath another pile of books a week ago, and figuring now was as good a time as any to learn how to make my home a haven, I dove in.

Am I glad I did! Lately, my grumblings have gone something like this; my house is too small, too ugly, too smelly, or cooking is the biggest bore, and I’m so tired of sweeping, fluffing pillows, picking up toys, food shopping…you get the point, the underlying theme being bored of homemaking. (Example: I must stop writing now to go food shopping).

Shelter for the Spirit reminds us of the spirituality in all this. Like the importance of cooking healthy meals for our family, she goes as far as saying a home cooked meal has a life force which, if produced with love, satisfies the receivers soul. I believe in this, though it’s definitely hard to grasp when your 23 month old spits a wad of chewed dinner on the table, or your three year old takes two bites, and says he’s not hungry. But maybe if I can remember that this is only temporary, and I am still nourishing them even if they do only take two bites. Maybe if I can smile while I chop onions, instead of saying things like, “why do I even bother cooking when no one eats anything?” Maybe if I shift my energy, my family will shift theirs.

“A house can reveal the extent of your assets, but a home reveals the extent of your heart.”- Victoria Moran

This is the first line of her first chapter and boy did I need to hear it. Of course, like many other motivational quotes, I know these truths implicitly, but I still don’t live them. Why is this? I know a bigger house will not make me, or my children happier, but I still find myself saying things like, “I hate this house,” as I tiptoe up the old creaky stairs which always wake my sleeping children. I still find myself searching Pinterest for my “dream home.” I still find myself stuck in the “if, then” mentality which plaques our society. Instead of living now, loving now, and being now. From now on I vow I am not going to talk “bad” about my house (Moran scolds this, as well). I am going to LOVE my house, tiny and all!

“Home is life in its most fundamental distillation. Seemingly humdrum occupations like making your bed in the morning and checking the doors at night link you with the passage of time and the rhythms of humanity.”  -Moran

I actually took some time to think about this and all the rituals that I complain about on a daily basis. Instead of seeing the monotony as torture I shifted to see the grace in keeping my home safe, calm, and beautiful. I began to see myself as the goddess of home, rather than the witch of domesticity. Moran goes on to say, “We live in a time and place where it takes courage and determination to give home priority status, or even realize it might be a good idea to do so.” How true is this?! The homemaker, or stay-at-home mom, is just that, “home” maker, and until we glorify “home” life, make it a haven for our family to grow spiritually, we will devalue our roles as the keeper of such a sacred place.

I can’t say that everyday I am able to remember these truths, but it has completely shifted the way I look at my job, and the importance of my duties. Now when I fold my son’s adorable toddler underwear in my musty basement, I remind myself of the importance of this, and how one day I will look back and hopefully I can say, “Damn right I was a homemaker, and I was an awesome one!”

*The rest of Moran’s book is equally as beautiful. She has a chapter on celebrations that changed my whole outlook on entertaining, an event I always looked at with heart palpitations. A chapter on “Simplifying,” “Cleaning,” etc. Pick up the book if you are stuck in a rut like I was. It might just shift your energy as well.